Holistic Postpartum Recovery: Physical Healing After Miscarriage or Infant Loss

You know what isn't talked about enough? Healing physically after loss.

Over the last 2 months especially, I've seen a LOT of books, websites, support groups, and people on social media share about healing after loss, but they only talk about the emotional side (grief).

Meanwhile, I know I'm not the first to ask questions like:

"How do I know my body's ready to try again?"

"When will my cycle come back? What's normal?"
"What can I do to support my physical recovery?"

"How can I support my body when I don't have the energy to?"

Emotional and physical health are tightly interwoven. You can't fully have one without caring for the other. I've talked about this many times before, but after 2 miscarriages and losing my baby, it's only strengthened my conviction of that.

NOTE: There's a lot here to digest (pun intended), so as always, take it one thing at a time as you're ready for it. I wasn't doing most of these at first, but have slowly built my way back up.

Miscarriage vs. Stillbirth vs. Infant Loss

Before I share the list of "how to", we need to distinguish between miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. Naturally, the further you travel down a road, the further it is to get back. Recovering after miscarrying at 5 1/2 weeks didn't take terribly long and while I applied many of the same principles I'm using now, that experience was very different than recovering after giving birth at 41 weeks & losing my son soon after.

The longer you're pregnant, the more your hormones & body change and the more grief you'll have, so your physical healing will take some time. Wherever you land on that spectrum of loss, you still go through a postpartum period. You need rest, warm, nourishing foods, gentle movement, and time to process your experience.

When you don't have the energy

You may be saying, "I know it's important, but I just can't. I don't have the energy. I've lost my appetite. I don't care or want to." I hear you. Remember that, especially in the early days, you're still going through some level of postpartum. With an early miscarriage, it might feel more like a heavy period, and after infant loss, it's a full-on "normal" postpartum that lasts several weeks and really months. And in between there is an incredibly wide range of experiences when you consider not just how far along you were, but your pregnnacy experience, any procedures you had done, medications you may have taken, and more.

Think of this time like an intense period or "winter" season. If you're used to cycle syncing and being mindful of your period, that's great practice for this season of postpartum that will need that rest and care even more so. I know for me, when I get my period I make sure to rest a lot and not do any housework or labor that feels too strenuous. After loss it's that but even deeper, both in intesity and how long it lasts.

Supporting your physical health is key to recovering not just in your body, but for your heart & grief too. If your body is stuck in a stressed, fight/flight/freeze state then it will be harder to process emotions, trauma, and grief. Give your body the gift of abundance and nourishment (as best you can) in a time of loss. You are loved and supported my friend.

SUPPORT

This is where outside support comes in. Your partner may be grieving too, so if he's not able to step in to make meals, grab drinks while you rest on the couch or in bed, etc., invite others in. I pray you have people already offering to bring a meal, do your laundry, or do your dishes. If not, either ask and get creative. For example, two things that have made things easier for us are having freezer meals on hand and ordering groceries online & doing a car pickup. You don't have to do it all on your own. Let others care for you.

How to Heal

You shouldn't be too surprised when I tell you that healing after loss doesn't take anything particularly special- it's mostly the same things you (hopefully) were doing before. If you have that foundation and those habits already in place, this will be a LOT easier for you.

FOOD 🍲

Your body has just gone through a lot of effort and is now in a "cold" state per TCM. Warm, easily digestible foods are key. If you're healing after a 2nd or 3rd trimester loss, cold foods can increase your afterbirth cramping. Warmth brings increased blood flow, and relaxation, plus it usually means food is well cooked and easier to digest and absorb nutrients (much needed to replenish after pregnancy).

→ Bone broth, soups, fresh local produce (esp. fruit), quality dairy, egg yolks, organ meats, and plenty of minerals.

After losing Joseph I found it hard to eat solid foods for a few weeks or even eat much in general, so I loaded up on local cherries, milk, and soup the most. My metabolism was adjusting from pregnancy to now just me, not even breastfeeding, and I was grieving. Just do what you can 🫶🏼

If you're able, accept meals offered. Even if it doesn't have the perfect ingredients, it was made with love (and research shows that how you view food impacts how you digest it, so seriously, don't worry about it.) For us, we did ask for no seed oils and warm foods and found that helped a lot.

MOVEMENT 💫

Slow, gentle movement. You'll likely be in a collapsed state for a while- shoulders low, pelvis tucked in, your body curled up. It's reflective of your body having low energy, turning inwards, and protecting you (especially your uterus and the emotions tied there). When you're ready, you need to slowly unwind and open up the body. This will likely lead to emotional release as well, so be prepared for that.

The main goals are to:

→ relax the body

→ loosen up restricted fascia & tissues

→ realign the pelvic floor & organs

→ soften & strengthen your frame

The main way I do this is through rockers. The best resource I can find is this 5-minute video. I'd start with just the work on all fours and even just breathing and softening in that position for a few minutes a day, then slowwwly doing the movements and rocking back and forth.

It's about being mindful, reconnecting with your body, and building strength in your glutes & back body so that your core and pelvic floor can relax, soften, and heal.

CIRCADIAN RHYTHM & LIGHT ☀️

Light directs your hormones. From appetite to sleep to weight, light influences it all. Spend a few minutes getting sun first thing in the morning and afternoon, then keep lights low and warm after dark. Red light at sunrise/sunset and from fire increases energy production and been shown to aid in healing. This will improve your quality of sleep, support your appetite, stabilize blood sugar & energy levels, and bring some peaceful moments for you to process things. Light is healing.

CRAVINGS 💞

Cravings aren't just about food. What are you drawn towards? What feels truly good in your body? Maybe it's a subtle, flickering thought in the back of your mind. Cravings are an invitations of your body showing you where and how to heal.

For me, I found myself craving my liver elixir drink and bitter foods, so I know I need extra support for my liver and digestion. I craved rockers and started doing them early on, then when I went to first pelvic floor physical therapy appointment that was the first exercise she recommended for me. Our bodies will tell us what they need if we're willing to listen.

SUPPLEMENTS & TINCTURES 🌿

I am fully converted to tinctures after postpartum. Here's what I've used (not everything every day, but as needed)

→ After Ease / Ease the Ache: herbal tincture to relieve cramping, excess bleeding, and bloating

→ Milky Oats (Wild Oaks Apothecary): exhaustion, stress, nervousness, and PTSD; replenishing minerals

→ Sage extract: reduce milk supply (no cabbage leaves or restrictive bras needed)

→ Vit. E: my one true staple for lowering inflammation, wound repair, hormone balance, etc. (use code FLOURISHNFLOW for a discount)

→ Shilajit: replenishing minerals, metabolic function & energy; increase absorption of other nutrients

→ Collagen: so easy to add to drinks, soups, baked goods, you name it. Helps with tissue repair and a fantastic source of easy protein, especially if you're having a hard time eating (use code FLOURISHNFLOW for a discount)

→ Gelatin: in addition to bone broth, gelatin makes fantastic gummies and marshmallows for easy, nourishing snacks (use code FLOURISHNFLOW for a discount)

→ Ancient Minerals Magnesium Bath Flakes: fantastic way to replenish some minerals & relax

→ Herbal baths: Find postpartum blends to add to your bath for a little extra healing